S2 Episode 7: Disco Dolly | A Reclaiming of a Scarlet Letter

This episode, Meg brings us a personal reflection narrative in response to her Journey Within Reflection prompts for the month of November. With the aim of creating space to see a Scarlet Letter as a human being, Meg brings an episode based on her recent experiences in FantasyLand as she begins to dance in strip clubs and prepares to audition in Las Vegas. 

Table of Contents

• Welcome & Introduction
• Context
• Setting the Mood
• Invocation
• "Disco Dolly"
• Closing & Benediction

Full Transcript always available on BuzzSprout.

Introduction Plays:
Sex Isn't Intimacy. Sex is pleasurable and becomes more pleasurable when you have intimacy. Not sold? Let's rethink love, relationships, and sex. Let me seduce you. You are listening to the Linguist of Love. Welcome to the Erotic Renaissance.

Introduction Plays:
Sex Isn't Intimacy. Sex is pleasurable and becomes more pleasurable when you have intimacy. Not sold? Let's rethink love, relationships, and sex. Let me seduce you. You are listening to the Linguist of Love. Welcome to the Erotic Renaissance.

Erotic Renaissance music plays.

You can join Meg on linguistoflove.com where she hosts a community aimed on personal development, restructuring relationships to be more authentic and built on communication, transparency, and empathy, and exploring sensuality and eroticism in safe ways that push your boundaries to allow you to create the space you deserve to live the life that will bring you more joy, peace, and love.
linguistoflove.com where she hosts a community aimed on personal development, restructuring relationships to be more authentic and built on communication, transparency, and empathy, and exploring sensuality and eroticism in safe ways that push your boundaries to allow you to create the space you deserve to live the life that will bring you more joy, peace, and love.
Support the show

Support the Podcast

• LINGUISTOFLOVE.COM
• Instagram | @LINGUISTOFLOVE
• Venmo | @LINGUISTOFLOVE
• Cash App | @LINGUISTOFLOVE

Top Podcast Supporters
Stella Lux Creations
DiscreetGuru

Transcript

Disco Dolly | A Reclaiming of a Scarlet Letter

Introduction:

Welcome to the Erotic Renaissance, I’m Meg De la Torre, your Linguist of Love. Thank you for tuning in and enjoying another episode alongside me. As a special treat for Samhain, I snuggled up to you with a story that is near and dear to my heart entitled, “Amor in the Afterlife,” and I do hope it left you yearning for magic in your own love life – it is what I do best, afterall, being your Siren of Seduction.

This episode, I’ll be providing you with a reintroduction of sorts as I give you a life update in the form of a narrative. If you follow me closely, you will have seen the good news that I am performing in clubs, as I now have my Adult Entertainment License. I am dancing locally in San Diego and will be auditioning for clubs in Las Vegas shortly after this episode airs. If you want watch behind the scenes, you can become a private voyeur by texting my FantasyLand Hotline ( 619.955.0622 ) or sending me a DM on Instagram  @LINGUISTOFLOVE or through my website LINGUISTOFLOVE.COM where you can always begin your own Erotic Renaissance with my monthly reflection prompts.

This episode features themes of shadow work, sex work, and is a personal reflection narrative - meaning this story is a reflection on my own personal life as we begin to wind down 2022. I’ll then close up this reflective episode with some final thoughts and a benediction. 

In an effort to  give you - my lovely listener - space to understand and get the most out of today’s episode, I want to explain shadow work, a theme that will be prevalent in this episode and the other subsequent episodes of Season 2 as I guide you through some shadow work of your own. To understand this concept, consider that each and every individual has light and shadow aspects. Typically, light aspects are considered “positive” and the shadow as “negative,” but rather think of shadows as being the parts of you that you might not usually shed light on, because you might have been punished or received feelings of shame or guilt around those parts of you. Your “light” aspects are those qualities or characteristics you are probably very proud of and are at the core of who you are, because you were probably praised and rewarded for exhibiting those qualities. Your shadow qualities are not “bad” or “evil,” and your light qualities can be used with malintentions just like any other quality or characteristics. The ultimate goal then, as humans, is to integrate our shadow and light aspects. That is where shadow work comes in. 

Shadow Work is the process of accepting your shadow aspects and integrating them into the whole complex you. We can practice shadow work in many different ways, but for this episode, I’ll model integration for you. As you have experienced alongside me if you have been listening along throughout the first and now second season, I have been actively doing shadow work as I integrate with the part of me that I was taught guilt and shame over throughout most of my life – my sensuous and soulful self. 

The two facets of me didn’t seem to go together. I have always been both deeply connected to spiritual and otherworldly curiosities and have been a deeply sensuous soul. In the church I attended, dancing was forbidden, however every time I danced or performed, I felt more aligned spiritually to wherever in this beautiful world I was destined to go and whomever I was destined to become. Thus, today, I bring you a tale that reflects on my Journey Within prompts from my website, where you can find the full reflection prompts. They are (1) What is something you have released over the past year? And (2) Looking ahead into next year, what does that evolved version of you look like? (Full Prompts found at LINGUISTOFLOVE.COM ).

Context

While I was originally inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, it wasn’t until I was writing and later revising this episode that I was also very inspired by Dolly Parton’s song “Jolene.” The song features a plea from the singer to Jolene (a temptress for lack of a better word) – to not take her man away from her. What I think is beautifully tragic about this song is the way the woman seems to pray to Jolene, “please don’t take him just because you can.” And the song truly feels more like a prayer from one Woman to another, offering truth in flattery and empathetic pleas. Yet, the tragedy of it all is that it is dismissed that the power lies not within the temptress to take the man – soley. The power of choice also lies in the Unnamed Man in the song. And what a poetic twist that it is the temptress who is blessed with a name while the man remains nameless, seemingly unimportant to the singer. As strippers are often characterized as temptresses or one of the many words that we use to characterize the archetype of the Jezzebel, I wish to argue through this story that below the temptress’s (or in my case sensual dancer or erotic artist’s) exterior, one would find less to fear and more admiration for her independence, vulnerability, or authenticity. Thus, seeing the beauty within her shadows and seeing her as a complex and complete person also deserving of a fulfilling and happy life. I wish to give a response to the song from the perspective of the woman wearing a Scarlet Letter [cultural context | this term is considered negative. It indicates that the individual – a woman – has committed of adultery. It is commonly used to pass judgement towards a Woman considered to be of low morality based on her sexual choices]. The Woman is often treated as a monstrous thing to be feared – a temptress. 

Setting the Mood

Let’s set the mood. If you have “Venus” by Stella Lux Creations, please add some to your wax warmer, as I am sitting here with you. The notes are luscious rose, dreamy jasmine, and a smokey bite of bourbon. There’s a fire in my fireplace, and I am wearing black fishnets, smell of jasmine and rose, and a scarlet silk scarf is caressing my bare skin as I speak these words to you now. 

Invocation

And now, our invocation. As we turn towards our story for today, please take a moment to relax and release any tension you might be holding in your body. Feel free to light a candle and set the mood for yourself. Let’s start with some communal breathing. Please, my love, breathe in. And out. (3) And now, please prepare for a little reflection today. May this story remind you of the importance of keeping mementos of memories and living true to your heart, as I cozy up to you with the Personal Reflection, entitled, “Disco Dolly | A Reclaiming of a Scarlet Letter.”

Disco Dolly | A Reclaiming of a Scarlet Letter

Jasmine rolled in from the open window where the sun was warming the bushes outside. The memories tickled some feeling in Meg’s heart that was sad in the slow way honey dripped  over skin under candlelight.  Maybe melancholy might be the tone of her heartbeat as she saw the end of Lorenzo’s stay at the Sensual Sanctuary. Charming but too inconsistent in affections for her desires, she had to release him back into the wild – unready for further taming at the time. Although she felt melancholy at being disappointed once again with another beast who requested to serve her before he was ready, Meg was used to this song and dance. 

A Goddess armed with the power of Sirenhood, it was easy for a sailor to lose his balance – even those with the best of sea legs could not fare often in Meg’s storm of seduction. The subject of the seduction often forgets their heart – and their mind while entrancing commences, and in the process – they take on a more beastly form. Meg sat in her office and took observational notes about the last four submissives she had hosted in her Sensual Sanctuary. Studying her effects on the masculines, she breathed in. She reflected on the ways that Lumiere, Liam, Lorenzo, and Lester failed to finish more than their intake sessions and initial assessments. While Meg knew her expectations were high, a Goddess deserves such affection, attention, and admiration. She breathed out and saved her files, making a note on her “To-Do List” to analyze the Wayward Beasts file some other time. Right now, she was feeling a wave of arousal course through her, as the moon hung high in the sky, causing her breasts to swell slightly. 

Sighing to herself, she tapped her pen against the notebook before her, wanting to begin to write a new advertisement for a beast, but she caught a breeze through her open office window. The breeze felt like freedom as a dream called to her in a way that made her want to purr by a lamp post and howl while stripping under the bright and beautiful moon. Closing her eyes, she felt the breeze lick her skin, making her shiver slightly. The thought that caught her under the moonlight was the moment Abuela watched her spinning around her pole at home, “Mija,” she had sighed, “why don’t you dance in clubs? You would love it.” The tendril of breeze she felt that night stirred more than just her fingers at the keyboard as she submitted her application for an Adult Entertainment License. The silk of her blush lingerie teased at her nipples and invited her to self-pleasure to the notion of fulfilling a goal she had carried in a treasure box since she was a child.

It had been years since she had seen whatever film it was when she was a grade school child walking through the living room. Meg remembered being caught by the images, and she stopped to sit on the shag brown carpet and gaze at the dancers moving up and down the poles. “I want to be beautiful like them,” she had thought as she watched the powerful women under flashing club lights slinking in slow motion. While she said she kept the white Barbie shoes in her treasure box to keep her favorite Barbie shoes safe, part of her kept them because something in the white pumps felt like her own reflection in the mirror even though she didn’t know why. But daydreaming found her twirling across the stones in the atrium that were shrouded in jasmine bushes. Meg’s toes were tickled by the cold chill of baby’s tears that had grown between each paver stone as she danced on a momentary stage, hopping in releve, lifting her legs to spin or arabesque – even though she wasn’t sure what those words meant at the time. However, rhythms playing from within the house seemed to invite the movement under the shaded garden. So she laughed and enjoyed how the movement made her feel until the twirling made her dizzy and found the stones beneath her to calm her spinning head.

Warm patches of sun poured through the vine coverage overhead as she laid back against the pavers and baby’s tears, feeling full of some emotion she didn’t have a word for yet – And in hindsight, Meg considered the moment in her mind’s eye. Years on a path towards linguistic professorship left her with many words, but none for that moment. “Hiraeth” might be the closest to that day in the atrium – there was a homesickness within her for a home she had yet to find, but the warmness of the sun held her like she knew she would one day find it. 

Although the original Barbie shoes had been lost somewhere between moving around and bringing her treasure box to every family function she could manage to get away with, along with a large and cumbersome to carry karaoke system that she solely used to coax her cousins into recording a talk show every Thanksgiving. But she was at the age now that she didn’t need the token in her treasure box to remind her what set her soul on fire; she had memories of recess at Grace Brethren Elementary School and spinning down tetherball poles. Even though the grade school was religious, Meg was thankful she had escaped punishment for the Scarlet Letter that seemed to be invisible back then but showed itself in moments of imaginative play. Luckily, the guards at recess were preoccupied with the boys being too rough on the basketball court to notice the young girl practicing to be a stripper one day. 

Thankfully the memories were warm like the sun in the Valley where those dreams were raised. Too young and innocent to know how others would grit teeth in a show of dismay over what they worried she would become. Meg was grateful for the women closest to her, who were loud in their support, because their support encouraged her more than the distant whispers of “man stealer” or upturned noses at her choices – not that she paid much attention nowadays to those who feared a Scarlet Letter. She knew she had no interest in someone else’s man or to take anything from anyone. She had already learned that life smiles on you when you are open to what is meant for you and not someone else. While she knew she wasn’t scary, it didn’t stop others from fearing her and walking away.

November brought a little crisp to the chill outside as she strolled into Expose and found herself taking a step closer to that distant home that called to her from memories. Not knowing what to expect, Meg found women searching for more out of life, six inch heels, and other eyes yearning for independence as much as she sought for it. “Kind of a long name, isn’t it?” The club manager asked as he entered Linguist of Love into the system. “Sure you don’t want to shorten it? Maybe a fake name?”

The question made her pause as she remembered the name Evelyn – a name that protected the professor who pole danced as she performed in her first pole show in 2018. “Yes,” she smiled, “I’m sure.” While a stage name gives you the space to be safe and take on an alternate persona,  Meg felt safest when she was honest and transparent about who she was, hoping that others would see her shamelessness and bravery as a way to normalize the fear that surrounds the notion of the “Stripper.”

The Disco Dolly that spins and seduces, a scarlet letter on her chest as she spreads her legs and bares her skin. What is it about her that raises suspicion in others’ eyes? Is it her courageousness to bare the most vulnerable parts of her for curious eyes? Her strength and grace as a sensual performer? Perhaps her independence is what scares others most – her audacity to be what others are afraid of, but please remember that fearing the witch, stops you from experiencing magic.

 Meg held her own white heels to her heart as she packed for Las Vegas, allowing uncertainty to hold her lovingly as she packed away her favorite items that made her feel like a Goddess as she stripped slowly on stage. While there was no full moon to dance under just yet, sparkling lights called her name as she tucked her white heels next to red sparkling shoes she had already blessed and stowed in the rose colored suitcase. And as she dreamed a little longer, she imagined an audience filled with open-minded souls, curious couples, lustful lovers, and sensual singles gathering to support the Erotic Arts. They await her to cast a spell of seduction, to arouse them to find each others’ hands and lips back at home – unable to wait any longer after watching that Disco Dolly find the floor in the absence of a lover, spinning as she strips, and caressing her own curves under the cadences and a cascade of blinding lights, tits teasing tempoed beats. And while your Disco Dolly howls at the moon on her way home, grateful for the open hearts and support of a dream, she smiles at the thought of another treasure box somewhere in the world with Barbie heels nestled safely for a day when it is safe to say, “I’m ready.”

Closing & Benediction

Thank you for listening to this reflective narrative as I reintroduce myself and shed a little focused light on the shadow of me, so you can see that if you get to know me, I’m more than just the sexy siren onstage. I dance not only to arouse you physically – with chills across the back of neck, a cold sweat, or blood that’s racing. I dance to remind you that life is full of magic, that love can be adventurous, wild, fulfilling, and worth every perilous risk. I dance to lift the sensual soul within you to dance alongside mine, discovering more similarities than there ever are differences. I dance to invite you on your own Erotic Renaissance as you rediscover what it is that lights your soul on fire and to find pleasure in life once again. A rebirth of my soul and yours and this incredible world we live in. Should you like to support my mission, you can do so in a myriad of ways, but especially through my website ( LINGUISTOFLOVE.COM ).

 As always, thank you so much for tuning into the Erotic Renaissance, where my mission is to help society see that being a sensual and sexual Woman is something that can be and should be celebrated and that every soul is deserving of body autonomy and sexual liberation – that at everyone’s core is a little bit of kink waiting to be discovered, and that the sensual soul is a part of us all.

It is my hope that you found within this episode a reminder that a Woman can find power in her shadows and sensuality, and she can still find within her the spirit that connects her to whatever it is that she calls her faith and hope, whether her church has a steeple or a pole, whether she chooses to veil her head or allow her locks to flow, whether she dances barefoot or with six inch heels. 

I am Meg De la Torre, your Linguist of Love, let me seduce you.